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Friday, June 08, 2007

Shocking

I went to the dr on Wednesday. We discussed the spotting, and she decided to run some testing. One of which was a pregnancy test. It was positive. Can you say shocked? I called my hubby...he was shocked. I couldn't believe it...I mean literally. I had to go to the store and buy a test of my own. Sure enough, it was positive. She ran some blood work, and put my on progesterone to try to stop the spotting. We tell our parents and my best friend. Everyone is so excited they start crying. I'm crying. It's amazing. I proved the doctors wrong. I am pregnant.
Then Thursday comes around. My doctor calls about my bloodwork. My numbers are crazy. My hsg is 13,568. My progesterone, however, is 4.4. It should be at least 11. Bad news. She decides to do an ultrasound. I get to the doctors office at 4. The baby is no where to be found. She looks and looks, finally, there it is! I see the heart beat, the little body and head. Beautiful, I cry. Then, she says she can't tell where it is. It's either ectopic or it's really low by my cervix. She calls radiology at the local hospital and orders an immediate u/s. At 7:30 they tell me my beautiful baby, with the beautiful heartbeat, is ectopic.
I'm then rushed to the er. Luckily my wonderful doctor meets me there. The hubby calls our families, and my parents come out to get my car (he met me there from his work). My parents are crying. We are all so devistated.
My heart is broken. Nearly 3 years and all hope lost and I end up pregnant. Only to lose the baby.
They gave me a shot of Methotrex.ate. I'm on disability for 2 weeks. Because it's a chemotherapy drug, my white blood cells are very low and I have a chance of getting a very bad infection. Also, because the baby is still alive and growing, I have to remain on bed rest until it dies and my body can start getting rid of it. Otherwise my tube could still burst and cause me to have to have surgery.
I'm so devistated. My heart was so filled with joy and love for this baby, especially after seeing the heartbeat. Now I just have to wait for it to die. This is so not fair.

5 comments:

karen from BBC said...

I just wanted to leave you a note here as well. My heart is just breaking for you. Please don't hesitate to email me if you need soemone to listen and to lean on. I know that it's hard to lean on people IRL in this situation but the anonyminity (sp?) of the internet makes it more comfortable.

June from bbc said...

Hun, I am so sorry. Sending big ((((hugs))))

Sandra said...

words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. God Bless!!

Kristina said...

Jodi, I am so sorry and my heart aches for you. Stay strong.

InDueTime said...

e-mail me sweetie, if you need my addy leave me a comment.