Saturday, September 20, 2008


So, I'm back at work. They informed me on my first day back that I'm no longer a supervisor, so I'll be back to hourly instead of salary. I'm ok with the pay part (since my pay won't change, I just have to clock in), but my manager quit, so now there is no manager in my department. But, there is a new girl, from the store, who is friends with one of our gm's hubbys. If she gets the manager position, I'm seriously going to freak out. I've been with this company for almost 10 years. I'm damn good at my job. I deserve the management position. So, I'm trying to go day by day and not get ahead of mysel. But seriously...I'll be pissed.
So, once we get the baby, I'm done with this job. I'll find a new one. Because I'm tired of being treated like I don't matter by upper management.
The manager of the retail department that I'm customer service for told me he's so glad I'm back. That work has been hell since I've been gone. All the retail sales reps have given me hugs, and told me the place fell apart without me there. The all told me that I'm the best customer service rep they've ever had.
Upper management acts like it's only good I'm back because they are short handed. Not because I do a good job. So, it's nice to feel needed by your coworkers, but for upper management to treat me like that is just too much. I'm over it.
Pray we get our baby soon. Not just because I can't wait to be a mom. But because I need out of this job. It's been a rollercoaster ride for years, and I'm ready to get off...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


I finally heard back from the nurse. Although the note says nothing about the weight restrictions I asked them to include. Jerks. I'm so irritated with this office, and I am very glad she is not my regular gyno. I asked for her to call me too, because I had a question for her. She never did. I'll call my regular doctor. I'm sure I'll get the answers I need from her! Jeez.
So, back to work at 7am tomorrow. 7-noon the rest of the week. Back to full time on Monday. I'll be glad to be back. Although I do like being able to visit people during the day. And see my hubby all but one day of the week. I've had lunch with him 6 out of 7 days for the last 6 weeks. I'm REALLY going to miss that. I'm going to miss him. I've been really spoiled. That is the only thing I'm sad about. Oh well. Back to real life.

Monday, September 15, 2008

2 Days

That's all I've got left...2 days. I (hopefully) go back to work on Wednesday. Hopefully because the dang doctor still hasn't called me back for my return to work release. She was off last week, but was supposed to be back on Friday. I'll call her in a couple hours. I'm really irked.
I was so damn bored...but now, that I am heading back to work, I'm bummed. Not because I don't want to go back to work, but because I had so much I wanted to do while I was off. I wanted to scrapbook. I wanted to visit friends and their babies, I wanted to visit my mom more for lunch. Now, I'm outta time. Go figure.
I am afraid I'll abandon my blog again. I'm afraid I won't have enough time, so I won't be able to post much. I'll try. I really want to try. I've enjoyed wriging so much over he last couple of weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to continue it.

Still haven't heard from the doctor. I called at 10am. It's now 5:30pm. Grrr. Will have to call AGAIN tomorrow...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Where were you?

Seven years ago today, my mom woke me up and told me to turn on the TV. My grandmother had passed away a few days before, and I was off work and school to attend her funeral. I was irritated because I had an hour left of sleep before I had to get up. Then, she told me a plane hit the World Trade Center. I thought she was crazy. It had to have been a horrible accident. Shortly after I turned on the TV, the second plane hit. I just cried. It was not an accident. I will never forget the horror I felt in that moment. The saddness. The worry for the people in the towers. The pain of the people who knew someone in the towers. The anger against the people who did it. Our world was forever changed. I think we all walked in a numb daze for weeks after that. Not understanding.
Less than 3 weeks before Eric and I started dating. After that moment, I never wanted to be away from him. It changed my outlook on life. I knew what I wanted, and now understood how delicate life is. My safe feeling was forever shattered. We were engaged just 2 short months later, and married a year after that. If 9/11 never happened, would things have happened that fast? Maybe, who knows. All I know was I didn't want to wait. And I wouldn't change anything.
I used to love to fly. Now, I notice everyone around me. Certain sounds scare me. It's not the same, and probably never will be. I still love to fly, but it just isn't the same.
Today, I have avoided watching the news. I guess today, even 7 years later, I want to avoid and deny the pain I feel. I can't imagine what the families must feel today. It is very, very sad.
I will never forget. I will always remember. I will some day tell my children about that day. Hopefully, the world will be a better safer place by then. All I know is, I will always remember what it was like before, and never forget what all those people went through on that day 7 years ago. And I will always be proud to be an American. IN GOD WE TRUST.

Monday, September 08, 2008

In/Un/Not Fertile.

Within the last year 2 of my in real life friends have confided in me their fertility issues. And I am so glad they had someone to confide in thats been there. BUT...

IT PISSES ME OFF. Seriously. Infertility pisses me off. It bull shit. It's crap. It should NEVER happen. I care about these two women very much. They shouldn't have to deal with it! When they told me...I cried. Not in front of them, but at home and for them. I wept. Shoulder shaking gasping for air sobbed for their pain.
I know what they are going through. Months of treatments. Meds that give hot flashes, cramping, moodiness. And months of complete total nearly unsurvivable heartache. If I could take it away from them and give them the babies they so desire, I would. In a heartbeat.

I remember reading in a book once, one of the many books I've read on dealing with infertility, and it states that everyone will beat it. Everyone will win. In one way or another. Whether it is by getting pregnant, adoption, surrogacy, or living child free, one way or another, you will be infertility.
While we haven't received our child. We are still waiting on the final draft of our homestudy to be on the waiting list. I feel like we are close. I feel like we've almost beat it. It's a good feeling.

I CAN'T wait for my friends to beat it. They read this blog, I don't know how often, but I know they read it. I want them to know I love them, and I'm pulling for them.


Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Doing well

I'm doing well, healing well. I'm going back to work 3 days earlier than originally planned. It's funny, as much as I have a love/hate relationship with work, I miss it. They even called yesterday to let me know they miss me and can't wait to have me back. Aww.
Monday was my first big day out since the surgery. My mom, Ruby and I went shopping. I hit the motherload! We first went to Gots/chalks. We found this dress I LOVED...but the tag said $134! Ok, some of you might be thinking "So". But, I just can't shop like that. I'm a bargain shopper, and just can't spend that much on clothes/shoes. So, my mom insisted I get it, because it said 60% off. It ended up being $37.99!!! I scored! I ended up with shorts, capris, a shirt, and 2 dresses for $125! Less than regular price of one dress! I got a bunch of other stuff because we are going on a cruise next month.. They are getting in all their fall/winter clothes so I had to get the summer clothes while I can!
We also finished the mural and painting of the babies room. We finished this over a month ago, but I just remembered to blog about it! Now we are shopping for furniture. We have limited space, so we are trying to find something that will fit nice in the room. We need a dresser/changing table combo, a crib, and a glider/rocker. We've found one we really like, but we need to look at a local store before we order it. We'll see. The picture above is the mural. I hope you all like it!!! I do! I can't wait to have the rest of the room in order. I don't want to spend the few days we have after a referral running around putting stuff together, so that will be one less thing to worry about. I'll try to remember to post a picture after we have the room all set up!
Other than that, nothing going on. Not much exciting to blog about when you sit on your butt watching TV and trying to heal!!!