Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I just want to say..

2008 can kiss my ass. A lot of bad stuff happened in 08. There's been a few good things, but what I remember the most is the bad. It's been YEARS since I have finished a year and remembered all the good things. The last year was probably 2003. The last year before ttc. The last year before a string of negative pregnancy tests and endless months of disappointments. The last year before. The last year I was naieve. The last year I believed everything would be easy.
2009 WILL be better. I have a lot of hopes for this year. 2009 will end on a great note. I will not have health issues in 2009. I will become a mommy. I will enjoy time with my friends and family. I will get leaner and healthier.
Oh, and I will be 30 this year. Yikes! I new decade, a new beginning. Yes, 2009 here I come.

Monday, December 22, 2008

This time of year...

I've just got to give this off my chest. This time of year just sucks for us infertiles. I've been thinking a lot about the baby we lost. This would be his/her first Christmas. I asked my mom for no baby gifts for this reason...I'm still having a bit of a hard time with it. I feel the weight of my empty arms, and it sucks.
I'm praying and hoping this is the last year I have to go through this. My heart hurts, and I don't want this anymore. I want to joy back in my holidays...