Saturday, June 16, 2007


Well, we have a lot to think about now. I am recouperating...slowly but surely. I can't get around on my own yet, but I will soon. I improve daily.
I received more shocking news. My ILs offered to pay for us to do IVF. I'm shocked. Finding out I was pregnant...well, I wanted it more than I ever realized...but I knew we couldn't afford IVF, so I knew it was my one and only pregnancy. Now, we have to decide if we want to accept their offer. I'm still grieving my baby, so I'm not 100% ready to make this decision yet. It's just so much to think about.
I think I want to do it, but I'm not sure E is convenced. I'll update as we journey through this decision. He is perfectly happy with adopting. I am too, but now that we have this offer I don't think I want to pass it up.
Too many hormones still in my system. As you can tell, I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle IVF...I think that is my biggest fear.
I just don't know what we will do...


Monkey said...

Good luck in making your decision. That is very generous of your inlaws. I just wanted to say that I dont know you personally but reading your posts and your comments I think you are strong enough. Your positive attitude thru all you have been through is awesome.

Anonymous said...

Wow! How incredibly generous of them! Are they going to just pay for one round? I hope that doesn't sound insensitive but the reality is that it often takes more than one round of IVF to stick. It's definitely a difficult decision no matter. I want to say though to take all the time you need to grieve your baby. Words can't express the hurt of losing a child...whether at 4w or 40. I don't know what it's like to lose a living child but I know that I think of my babies every day and miss them...and I'm fairly certain I always will. Find your own ways to recognize him/her, to remember him/her. I'm always here for you. I bet there's also a group for ectopic pg losses on BBC...if you ever feel up to checking that out. I know for me the multiple miscarriage boards have been a lifesaver.

M said...

I was shocked to read your blog. I am so very very sorry about what happened. I am also very grateful to your inlaws for such an amazing gift they are willing to give you.
I wish you peace in making the decision and a speedy recovery.
Again, I am so sorry.