Wow

Ok...so being a mommy is very time consuming. I can't believe how much time has past since my last post. Not much has changed that I can talk about. There are some things with the new baby that may end up speeding up the finalization of our adoption of baby girl, but we won't know if the birth parents follow through for another couple of weeks.
I can't believe she's has been home for over 2 months now. Life has changed in so many wonderful and amazing ways. She'll be 1 in 6 weeks. We are going to have a huge party. She loves people, we had a big welcome home party for her and she loved it. We are so overjoyed by her.
As I was rocking her to sleep tonight, she reached up and put her hand on my face. In that moment I realize that there isn't one single thing I would change that led to this point in my life. Everything, the pain of infertility, the pregnancy loss, the saddness, the process of adopting...none of that would I change for anything in the world. All of that led us to our daughter. And she is the light of my life. She warms my heart and soul in ways I never knew a child could. She is worth all of that pain, and more. I would do anything to make her happy. Anything.
When she giggles, I giggle.
When she cries, my heartbreaks.
When she tries to walk, I hold my breath with nervous excitement.
Every step, growth, accomplishment, fills me with so much joy. I'm so proud of all the things she has done in the last 2 months.

I only hope we've made her as happy as she's made us.

Our Princess

So, she is 9 months old today. She is standing on her own for short bursts of time, speed crawling, and walking with a walker. She's also progressed so fast since she's been in our home that it'll give you whiplash. She's started talking so much more, and mimicks like crazy. When we first got her home she barely made a peep, and was hardly pulling herself up on furniture. She's changing so fast.
So, we took her to the dr yesterday for a checkup and to get her caught up on her vaccinations. I cried longer than she did! It was horrible watching her hurt and not being able to make it better! Her 9 month stats:
23lbs (97th percentile)
32 inches (off the charts by 2 inches)
Healthy as a horse and right on track developmentally.

So, she's going to be a very tall girl. She's going to tower over her mama.

As for me, I'm enjoying every minute. It's been 2 weeks since we brought her home. It's amazing how easy it is to forget what life was like before. How quickly we've morphed into parents. I've never felt so fulfilled.
And this may not be the end. Birth parents are preggo again, and we've been asked if the new baby can be placed with us when it is born. She claims she's due in Feb, but she's already showing, so we're pretty sure she's lying about that too. We shall see.
God has a plan for us, and we'll just wait and see what that plan is. We're more than happy with just our princess...but if we have another we'll be thrilled too. Only time will tell...

Oh the joy

My heart is full. My daughter is home. Things have been great, she sleeps 4-5 hour stretches at night, 2-3 hour long naps during the day. We are adjusting well.
I never knew being a mommy could be this wonderful. I'm overjoyed.

The Update of Updates

We got the call!

Our social worker called me yesterday afternoon at work to tell me that we have, at last, been picked. Let me just tell you, I bawled like a baby when she called. We have a daughter. A daughter. I just can't get over it. It hasn't sunk in yet. We do not know everything about her. There are still at least 2 steps before she comes home. On the 22nd we will be presented with all her information (background, status with the birth parents, etc). After that, I think it will be about a week before she comes home. We'll get to meet her at one point before she comes home, but I do not know when that will be yet.

This is all the information I have:
She is 8 months old.
Her birth name is Nevaeh, which is heaven spelled backwards. We've decided to keep this name.

Thank you all for all your support through this journey. We still have a way to go before she is legally ours, but we are closer than we have been this far. We have been matched.

I'm still in a state of shock...disbelief. Like I'm going to wake up and this was all a cruel dream. I can't believe I'm going to have a daughter. I'm really going to be a mommy!

Mini-Update

Not much going on here...seriously. We continue to wait. While I feel like we've been waiting forever, it's only been just over 6 months, which in the adoption world is NOT long at all. So, we keep waiting, praying, hoping.

Other than that, today marks the 2 year mark since we found out our baby was ectopic. And shockingly I'm doing ok. I still feel some of the emotions I felt then, but they are mild, managable. I'm really doing ok. And that surprises me. I was so devistated that I never thought I would be ok. I never thought this day would come and I wouldn't be overcome by saddness. Part of me feels guilty that I'm ok. Like I'm not honoring our baby's memory properly. The other part of me knows that it's ok to be ok. It's not bad, or mean, or heartless. It's life.

So, today, I'm ok.

Because I don't know what else to say

So very sad. I've been so MIA from blogging lately. I last checked my blog roll 4/8. I came back to this. I'm so very sad for the whole family.
Rest in peace beautiful, sweet Maddie. You brought me smiles by the posts and stories your mom told. You will be missed.
http://remembermaddie.com/

Pay it Forward

I got this idea from a one of my BFFS, so if she can do it so can I! and it sounds FUN!!
The first FIVE people to respond to this post will get something made by yours truly.
I get to choose what it is, and make it just for YOU!
However, this offer does have some restrictions and limitations:I make no guarantees that you will like what I make! (although I hope you do!)
What I create will be just for you.It will be done this year (before December 31, 2009).
You have no clue what it's going to be.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on YOUR blog, MySpace or Facebook and make the same offer to the first 5 people who respond to you, thereby continuing the fun!
The first five people to leave a comment telling me they will be posting this on their blog, MySpace or Facebook will win a homemade treat by me!
Let the fun begin!
Be sure to post a picture of the item you've won once you get it!

Seriously?

I swear. I can't catch a break.
Our doggie had to have surgery yesterday. He blew a ligment in his leg and had to have major surery to replace it. He'll be in one of thos collar things for 2 weeks until the stapels come out.

He'll be confined to his crate for 60 days while he heals. It's horrible. This morning he was trembling and shaking from the pain. Now he's heavily sedated and on lots of pain meds.

It's heartbreaking. He's so out of it, and in so much pain. He peed on the carpet about an hour ago because he wasn't steady enough to walk outside, then he just flopped over on the ground.

The surgery wasn't optional, he wouldn't walk on the leg, but it still breaks my heart.
Oh, and he still won't eat, so I have to shove his pills down his throat.

My mom said this all proves I'll make a wonderful mom because I'm doing whatever I can, even if it hurts me, to make him more comfortable and better. I hope she's right, because this is what comes natural. I don't have to think about it, I just do it.

I've cried off and on all day because he'll wince or whine. How am I going to watch my baby in major pain for 60 days?! Ugh

I got a blogger award!

I got my first blogger award! The Lemonade Stand from the lovely Leann. Yay!



Isn't it cute?

So the rules are as follows:
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show GREAT ATTITUDE and/or GRATITUDE!
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.
So, in no particular order:
Laurie
Ruby
Amanda
Holly
Heidi
In Due Time
According to Angela
The Waiting Womb
Life...It's nothing like the brochure
Ramblings of Kristibug

Have fun.

Oh, funny story about me.

A couple of weeks ago, E and I went to the gym afterwork. Walked for an hour on the treadmill. Had a good workout. The gym was PACKED.
I get home, and my tank top is on inside out. DOH! Tag out and all. Jeez.

I don't usually post jokes, but...

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a
herd of sheep. .

Now give me back my dog.