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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

You have GOT to be kidding me.

This week has sucked total A$$. Let me tell you. On July 31st, I started having what I thought were really bad gas pains on my right side. Took some gas x, felt better, went about my day. Same thing on Friday. Saturday we went to Knotts and Disneyland, and by Saturday PM I was starting to feel worse. Sunday was really bad, so after church, we hiked our butts to the ER. After 14 hours, two tumors were found in my abdomen, looking like cysts attached to my ovaries. I was in serious pain, and on some serious pain meds. Stronger than morphine because, well, that just wasn't working. They admitted me to the hospital for pain management. They tumors were grapefruit sized on my right side, orange sized on my left side. Because they were cystic, they doctors weren't considering me urgent except to 1) 100% rule out cancer (see me freaking out here) and 2) to fix the pain
Tuesday they take me in for surgery. I have a verticle inscision from the belly button to my scar from my ectopic. The surgery found that the cycstic tumors were attached to the stub of my right fallopian tube, and my left fallopian tube. The doctors were able to remove both tubes, and save both ovaries. They originally thought they were going to have to remove both ovaries, which would have left the 29 year old me menopausal. So thankfully the tumors were on my tubes and saved my ovaries.
Wednesday, I spiked a fever of nearly 104. Thing went really ugly from there. The nurses were all jerks, putting me in a wheel chair from test to test. Hello?! I just had surgery and I am in excruciating pain, and you put me in a wheel chair! It was horrible. Thankfully I don't remember it all. I'm still having serious issues dealing emotionally with the pain of it.
Thursday was still pretty bad. Fever had subsided, but I was NOT trusting the nurses at all. They had to put the cathedar back in. That sucks. I highly DO NOT recommend having a cathedar inserted while awake!
Friday was a little better, but nurses were much nicer, and I was starting to be aware of things. They started weining me off the IV and I was able to eat more, even though I had no appetite and the food was, well, ick.Saturday, I got home at 5:30pm. A full week in the hospital.I'm healing, slowly but surely. Emotionally is another story. I am having a hard time dealing with the way my body is behaving. I'm also having a hard time accepting that this is a one time event, there is no reason to think that this will happen again. I know a lot of my fears stem from what happened on Wednesday night. The horrible nurses didn't leave me feeling much confidence in my health or in the medical field. I'm also having a really hard time with the "Why me". This isn't the kind of person I am, really, but I'm starting to see those feeling creep in, and it irritates me. I'm usually ok with everything. I know God is in control, I know that everything is in his plan, and I need to have faith in that. BUT, the why mes keep creeping into my mind. So many people have everything they have ever wanted in life...and my life has just been hell over the last few years.
So, emotionally, I'm still struggling quite a bit. Hopefully time will bring peace with these feelings, because I really hate them.
Oh yeah, and it was not cancer. I should find more peace in that than I do. I should be thankful. But right now, I'm just really angry with my body...

5 comments:

thepromiseofourlove said...

Sorry you are going through all this. Praying for your speedy recovery!

Katie said...

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I know the question of "Why Me?" and there will never be an answer. You are so lucky to have strong family support and a loving husband! I'll keep you in my prayers!

The Hernandez Family said...

Jodi, hope you are feeling better. Sorry to hear about your painful week. Praise the Lord that it wasn't cancer! You are in my prayers!

(And I'm glad I'm not the only one shopping for Halloween Costumes!!!) :)

Kristina said...

Wow, you are right! It sucked ass! What a crappy ass week. Wow. I am really happy it is not cancer and that you are not forced into menopause!

It's Friday though! Hopefully you can relax and take some time off. :(

Amanda said...

Oh Big, I'm soooo sorry! That is a TERRIBLE week, but thank goodness that the absolute worst didn't happen. This must mean something really really good is coming since you have to endure all this hardship! Just have faith and soon you will see why this all had to happen to get you there. God will bless the broken road, I know it. Love you!