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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Hope

I hate her. I really do. Hope is a bitch. Let me explain.
Six weeks ago AF made her last visit. My longest cycle ever is 5 weeks...so, I am now officially one week longer than my longest cycle. 3 days short of 2 weeks past my usual cycle length.
At this point, the bitch has made her entrance. Could I be "that" infertile girl that beat the odds? Could the doctors have been wrong? Could I possibly be pregnant? All this is now going through my head. Has been for about 5 days.
Her voice gets louder and louder..."OF COURSE YOU COULD BE THAT GIRL. WHY ELSE WOULD YOU BE THIS LATE IF YOU WEREN'T PREGNANT".
So, I'm getting excited, and nervous. Do I test, or just continue to wait? So, of course, I test...
BFN.
Am I shocked, of course not. Am I disappointed? Of course. Can't I just get a break? Can't my body at least do this right so that bitch Hope would just stay away? Ugh...

2 comments:

Ann said...

The same thing happened to me last month. My last cycle was 62 days...the longest ever. I have never been that late. But 5 pregnancy tests later prooved that again I'm not pregant. Sorry hon. I know how you feel

Karen (from BBC) said...

There is a song that applies to both my situation and yours...or at least the title does. It's by a band my husband stumbled across recently. The title is "Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat". I'm so sorry, sweetie! I too hope you'll be "that girl" someday!