Wow, so much has happened in the last month. We finished our second meeting (YAY!). A meeting that normally lasts an hour for most people only lasted 15 minutes for me. She said I had a very perfect and normal childhood (who knew?) and had nothing to pick on me for. She also said that I answered all the homework questions very completely, so it left nothing for her to ask me. Yay me! She still loves us, and can't wait for us to be finished. Hopefully that means she finds us a placement sooner, but we'll see. Our final appointment is July 9...18 days! I can't believe we are almost done and on the waiting list. So exciting.
So, I have had something to blog about for over a month now, but haven't. Part of it is because I know that many of you out there, especially the infertiles, will gasp at what I have done. The other part is because myself, as an infertile, partially feels like I may have jumped the gun and jinxed us. I have been seriously against bringing ANYTHING baby into my house...until now. After meeting with our social worker, I know we are finally on the path to being parents. So....................................
I had a baby shower...
Yes, a real baby shower, with cakes, and gifts. It was fun, and amazing, and completely surreal. It was WONDERFUL. We and the baby were so spoiled. But, I've been horrible. It's been a month and I haven't written my thank you's! There are next to me on the couch now, and they will be done tonight. But, after the shower we have been non stop! I haven't had one night at home, or one weekend without a million plans since the shower! I feel horrible about it. I hope everyone doesn't hate me now!
So, the reason I had the shower so early is because 1) I know we will get a child in the near future, 2) I'm a over planner and need to know what we'll need to buy once we get our placement, and most importantly 3) With all the unknowns ahead of us, I needed to feel prepared. We now have car seats, strollers, bedding, toys, blankets, bath goodies, diaper bags...all the most important things we will need, with the exception of the furniture. I feel so ready now. And not at all sad about the empty nursery, which was the only thing our social worker was worried about. When I told her I love seeing a room ready for a baby, she said, "See, that is why I love you!" Aww.
We've also finally picked out the bedroom furniture! It's way cute, and I'm way excited about it! We've had a really hard time deciding what we like, and what to get...but today we picked it.
We also couldn't decide on the furniture because we were thinking we might go with two children. But, after a lot of talking and weighing options and finances, we decided that one at a time is probably best. Mainly because of finances. We know that paying for daycare will be a big change for us, but paying for 2 kiddos in daycare is really going to be a shocker. So, we are going to start with one.
So now we are going to work on getting the room ready. We got the cutest mural, so we need to paint that and the rest of the walls. Then, we are going to buy the furniture. And I'll post some pictures.
I'm so full of exciting joy. It's been a really long time since I've felt this happy. This month was the one year anniversary of our loss. It was a lot harder for me than the due date. I had a lot of tears, but I think the thing that brought me through it was knowing that our child will be with us soon. Whether that is 6 months or a year from now, it will happen. And knowing that made the anniversary of the loss no less hard, but easier to get through.
Things are finally looking up...
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