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Monday, July 19, 2010

Done...for now

Well...I'm done blogging for now. There's a lot going on, but nothing really to say. I dont't feel comfortable talking about it all because the princess's birth parents are out there, and I just worry about them stumbling upon this blog. Honestly, they scare me a little, so I just don't feel comfortable risking it by sharing too much info or pictures.
Our adoption is final, princess is 100% ours, legally and forever. They will NEVER get her back, but they still worry me, so I'm going to cut myself off from blogging for a while. If things settle down, I might come back. I might go private, I'm just not sure.
If you still want to read if I go private, please leave me a comment and let me know.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Because I wanna win!

My sorority sister is having a give away on her blog, and I wanna win!!! It's a gift card to CSN...and well, I just love that store! Go check it out! But don't enter, because I WANNA WIN!
http://www.rantsravespersonalfaves.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Bad, Bad Blogger!

Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. Things are going great, we have some stuff going on that I'm not at all ready to talk about. Nothing bad, actually, could be pretty great, but I'm just not ready to discuss it.
Baby girl is getting so big, climbing on everything, new words every day. I get so caught up in loving her that I just don't have the time to get on here!
Hope all is well in the blog world. I keep up with all your blogs even if I don't comment!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Blog Abandoned?

For now...I/we have so much going on right now that I just haven't had the time or desire to update this blog. I think I might open up a new blog for our family...I'm just not sure yet.
Things are going great, we are a family of 3 and will stay that way, birth family skipped town so we will not be getting the new baby. We should finalize in the next 6 months-1year. Hopefully sooner than later but only time will tell.
I'm not working from home for my inlaws. I love my new job and I'm very very happy. Things honestly couldn't be going better. Maybe that's why I don't feel like blogging, I have nothing to complain about! Haha.
Hopefully I'll be back up to it soon...I don't know if anyone is even reading anymore...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Wow

Ok...so being a mommy is very time consuming. I can't believe how much time has past since my last post. Not much has changed that I can talk about. There are some things with the new baby that may end up speeding up the finalization of our adoption of baby girl, but we won't know if the birth parents follow through for another couple of weeks.
I can't believe she's has been home for over 2 months now. Life has changed in so many wonderful and amazing ways. She'll be 1 in 6 weeks. We are going to have a huge party. She loves people, we had a big welcome home party for her and she loved it. We are so overjoyed by her.
As I was rocking her to sleep tonight, she reached up and put her hand on my face. In that moment I realize that there isn't one single thing I would change that led to this point in my life. Everything, the pain of infertility, the pregnancy loss, the saddness, the process of adopting...none of that would I change for anything in the world. All of that led us to our daughter. And she is the light of my life. She warms my heart and soul in ways I never knew a child could. She is worth all of that pain, and more. I would do anything to make her happy. Anything.
When she giggles, I giggle.
When she cries, my heartbreaks.
When she tries to walk, I hold my breath with nervous excitement.
Every step, growth, accomplishment, fills me with so much joy. I'm so proud of all the things she has done in the last 2 months.

I only hope we've made her as happy as she's made us.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Our Princess

So, she is 9 months old today. She is standing on her own for short bursts of time, speed crawling, and walking with a walker. She's also progressed so fast since she's been in our home that it'll give you whiplash. She's started talking so much more, and mimicks like crazy. When we first got her home she barely made a peep, and was hardly pulling herself up on furniture. She's changing so fast.
So, we took her to the dr yesterday for a checkup and to get her caught up on her vaccinations. I cried longer than she did! It was horrible watching her hurt and not being able to make it better! Her 9 month stats:
23lbs (97th percentile)
32 inches (off the charts by 2 inches)
Healthy as a horse and right on track developmentally.

So, she's going to be a very tall girl. She's going to tower over her mama.

As for me, I'm enjoying every minute. It's been 2 weeks since we brought her home. It's amazing how easy it is to forget what life was like before. How quickly we've morphed into parents. I've never felt so fulfilled.
And this may not be the end. Birth parents are preggo again, and we've been asked if the new baby can be placed with us when it is born. She claims she's due in Feb, but she's already showing, so we're pretty sure she's lying about that too. We shall see.
God has a plan for us, and we'll just wait and see what that plan is. We're more than happy with just our princess...but if we have another we'll be thrilled too. Only time will tell...

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Oh the joy

My heart is full. My daughter is home. Things have been great, she sleeps 4-5 hour stretches at night, 2-3 hour long naps during the day. We are adjusting well.
I never knew being a mommy could be this wonderful. I'm overjoyed.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Update of Updates

We got the call!

Our social worker called me yesterday afternoon at work to tell me that we have, at last, been picked. Let me just tell you, I bawled like a baby when she called. We have a daughter. A daughter. I just can't get over it. It hasn't sunk in yet. We do not know everything about her. There are still at least 2 steps before she comes home. On the 22nd we will be presented with all her information (background, status with the birth parents, etc). After that, I think it will be about a week before she comes home. We'll get to meet her at one point before she comes home, but I do not know when that will be yet.

This is all the information I have:
She is 8 months old.
Her birth name is Nevaeh, which is heaven spelled backwards. We've decided to keep this name.

Thank you all for all your support through this journey. We still have a way to go before she is legally ours, but we are closer than we have been this far. We have been matched.

I'm still in a state of shock...disbelief. Like I'm going to wake up and this was all a cruel dream. I can't believe I'm going to have a daughter. I'm really going to be a mommy!

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Mini-Update

Not much going on here...seriously. We continue to wait. While I feel like we've been waiting forever, it's only been just over 6 months, which in the adoption world is NOT long at all. So, we keep waiting, praying, hoping.

Other than that, today marks the 2 year mark since we found out our baby was ectopic. And shockingly I'm doing ok. I still feel some of the emotions I felt then, but they are mild, managable. I'm really doing ok. And that surprises me. I was so devistated that I never thought I would be ok. I never thought this day would come and I wouldn't be overcome by saddness. Part of me feels guilty that I'm ok. Like I'm not honoring our baby's memory properly. The other part of me knows that it's ok to be ok. It's not bad, or mean, or heartless. It's life.

So, today, I'm ok.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Because I don't know what else to say

So very sad. I've been so MIA from blogging lately. I last checked my blog roll 4/8. I came back to this. I'm so very sad for the whole family.
Rest in peace beautiful, sweet Maddie. You brought me smiles by the posts and stories your mom told. You will be missed.
http://remembermaddie.com/

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Pay it Forward

I got this idea from a one of my BFFS, so if she can do it so can I! and it sounds FUN!!
The first FIVE people to respond to this post will get something made by yours truly.
I get to choose what it is, and make it just for YOU!
However, this offer does have some restrictions and limitations:I make no guarantees that you will like what I make! (although I hope you do!)
What I create will be just for you.It will be done this year (before December 31, 2009).
You have no clue what it's going to be.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on YOUR blog, MySpace or Facebook and make the same offer to the first 5 people who respond to you, thereby continuing the fun!
The first five people to leave a comment telling me they will be posting this on their blog, MySpace or Facebook will win a homemade treat by me!
Let the fun begin!
Be sure to post a picture of the item you've won once you get it!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Seriously?

I swear. I can't catch a break.
Our doggie had to have surgery yesterday. He blew a ligment in his leg and had to have major surery to replace it. He'll be in one of thos collar things for 2 weeks until the stapels come out.

He'll be confined to his crate for 60 days while he heals. It's horrible. This morning he was trembling and shaking from the pain. Now he's heavily sedated and on lots of pain meds.

It's heartbreaking. He's so out of it, and in so much pain. He peed on the carpet about an hour ago because he wasn't steady enough to walk outside, then he just flopped over on the ground.

The surgery wasn't optional, he wouldn't walk on the leg, but it still breaks my heart.
Oh, and he still won't eat, so I have to shove his pills down his throat.

My mom said this all proves I'll make a wonderful mom because I'm doing whatever I can, even if it hurts me, to make him more comfortable and better. I hope she's right, because this is what comes natural. I don't have to think about it, I just do it.

I've cried off and on all day because he'll wince or whine. How am I going to watch my baby in major pain for 60 days?! Ugh

Monday, January 12, 2009

I got a blogger award!

I got my first blogger award! The Lemonade Stand from the lovely Leann. Yay!

Photobucket

Isn't it cute?

So the rules are as follows:
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show GREAT ATTITUDE and/or GRATITUDE!
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.
So, in no particular order:
Laurie
Ruby

Amanda
Holly

Heidi
In Due Time

According to Angela
The Waiting Womb
Life...It's nothing like the brochure
Ramblings of Kristibug


Have fun.

Oh, funny story about me.

A couple of weeks ago, E and I went to the gym afterwork. Walked for an hour on the treadmill. Had a good workout. The gym was PACKED.
I get home, and my tank top is on inside out. DOH! Tag out and all. Jeez.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

I don't usually post jokes, but...

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a
herd of sheep. .

Now give me back my dog.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I just want to say..

2008 can kiss my ass. A lot of bad stuff happened in 08. There's been a few good things, but what I remember the most is the bad. It's been YEARS since I have finished a year and remembered all the good things. The last year was probably 2003. The last year before ttc. The last year before a string of negative pregnancy tests and endless months of disappointments. The last year before. The last year I was naieve. The last year I believed everything would be easy.
2009 WILL be better. I have a lot of hopes for this year. 2009 will end on a great note. I will not have health issues in 2009. I will become a mommy. I will enjoy time with my friends and family. I will get leaner and healthier.
Oh, and I will be 30 this year. Yikes! I new decade, a new beginning. Yes, 2009 here I come.

Monday, December 22, 2008

This time of year...

I've just got to give this off my chest. This time of year just sucks for us infertiles. I've been thinking a lot about the baby we lost. This would be his/her first Christmas. I asked my mom for no baby gifts for this reason...I'm still having a bit of a hard time with it. I feel the weight of my empty arms, and it sucks.
I'm praying and hoping this is the last year I have to go through this. My heart hurts, and I don't want this anymore. I want to joy back in my holidays...

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

This year, I have quite a few things to be thankful for.
1) My wonderful hubby. Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would marry a man as wonderful as he is. When I was healing from my surgery, he cooked, cleaned, and took care of me, even when he looked so tired I thought he was done. Not too long ago he was sick, and he told me that he can't believe how strong I am, and he admires me for being so strong through all I've been through. I'm very thankful to have him.
2) I'm very thankful that we are finally on the adoption waiting list. We may still have a long wait ahead of us, but the point is we just have to wait. No more classes, no more meetings. Just waiting.
3) My friends. I seriously have the best friends a girl could ever hope for. Ruby and Laurie are my BFFs, and I am very thankful for them. I have met so many wonderful people in blog-land that I am thankful for too. I'm so grateful to have all the love and support of all my friends out there.
4) My family. I have a family that will drop everything at the drop of a hat to be here for me. I am a very lucky girl.
5) My health. And that I'm alive. I really believed when I was in the hospital that I was going to die. It is a horrible feeling. I hope that I never feel that again for at least 50 years! The thought of leaving my husband, family, and friends behind was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. I am very thankful that I am still here and still healthy.

I've had a very rough year, but I'm very thankful for all the great things that have happened this year. I'm greatful that this year is almost over, and I'll be on to a bigger and better year next year.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Twilight

I watched the movie last night with the hubby. I was worried, I knew there were a few people that didn't like it much, and even though it got some great reviews, it also got some bad reviews too. And, Eric hadn't read the books, so I didn't know if the movie would make much sense.
So, we get to the theater 2 hours early, there's already a line. We get in line, and time actually psses pretty fast. It's pretty funny watching all the tween and teen girls so excited for a movie. It actually upped my excitement factor.
Once we were in the theatre and sitting down, and they dimmed the lights, the first round of squeals and cheers started. Then the credits start, and applause. The biggest chears, squeals, and applause where when we first saw Jacob, and when we first saw Edward. It was quite funny.
Let me just tell you. I'm one of those people who after 2 hours of a movie my butt starts to hurt and I'm ready for it to be over. That did not happen with this movie!
I loved every last minute of it and wasn't ready for it to end!!! It could have been 2 hours longer!
And when the movie was over. The theater ERUPTED in applause and cheers. I guess I wasn't the only one that enjoyed it. I've been in theaters before where they clapped at the end of a movie. I've never heard anything like this!!!

Things I loved the most:
1) Edward and Bella. Their enteractions. The way he acted when he first saw her. Then how they started to warm up to each other. My favorite lines from the book were spoken verbatium in the movie. "So the lion fell in love with the lamb." The discussion about his age. Most of the discussion about who he was. It was perfect!
2) The way they made him sparkle. I was worried that with the movie not having a huge budget, it would be glitter or something silly on his skin. It wasn't. It was beautiful. I loved it.
3) Alice. Alice has always been one of my favorite characters, and I just loved her in the movie. She was perfect, from her voice to her look to her personality. Loved her!
4) The kiss. Oh the kiss.
5) The fight between Edward and James. I realized when it was over that I was squeezing Erics arm! I've read the book twice, and it still got to me!
6) THE END!!!!! I loved the little way they tweaked it. This ending couldn't have happened in the book because the book wasn't from Bellas point of view and she would never have seen this. But it was AWESOME!!!!!

The only things I didn't really like:
1) Edward had hair on his chest. He's supposed to be smooth like marble. Not the end of the world, but I would have preferred it smooth.
2) They didn't explain Jaspers ability enough. One of my favorite parts in the book is when he can feel what Bella is feeling, and tells her "You are worth it". I wish that part would have been in there.

But seriously, if that is all I didn't like, you know how much I LOVED IT! I can't wait to see it again. I can't wait to buy it on DVD. AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL!!!!!!!! New Moon can't come fast enough!
And Eric liked it too! He even said he would watch it again. And he said he would have enjoyed it more if there weren't hundreds of squealing girls! LOL

So, what did you think if you saw it?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

So much going on!

Ok, so I've been a bad blogger! I'd love a good descriptive post today, but no time. So, this is going to be bulleted and brief. Please forgive me.
1)Still obsessed with Twilight. I got 4 people at work obsessed with Twilight. I swear, it is crack in literary form.
2) I started Weight Watchers. I've just finished week 3, and I'm down 11.4. ROCK ON. I only have 40 left, but I can do this!
3) Today is our 6th anniversary. I never in a million years thought I would be married 6 years and not have any kiddos. This will be our last year childless. I am very hopeful because...
4) WE ARE FINALLY LICENSED!!!! Now, we just wait for the social worker to pick us for their kiddo. Keep your fingers crossed!

Hopefully you'll get a better post next time!

XOXO

Monday, October 27, 2008

TAGGED!

Yay! My A-Phi sister Leann tagged me, so here it goes:


{10 yEaRs Ago I ....}
1. was starting my second year of college
2. spent WAY to much time at the Brandin Iron, Cowboy Boogie, Incahoots, and Midnight Rodeo.
3. had just gone through a really messy breakup
4. was trying to figure out who I was...and where the hell my life was going
5. was getting ready to move out for the first time...for a very short period of time

{5 ThInGs On ToDaY's tO-dO-LiSt}
1. Return stuff to Target
2. Buy som Nyquil (sniff/cough)
3. read and approve our homestudy (YAY)
4. Check the newest Twilight news blogs (Yes! OBSESSED)
5. watch football. HELLO...it's monday!

{5 tHiNgS i WoUlD dO iF i WeRe A MiLliOnAiRe}
1. Buy a bigger house and fill it with kids
2. quit my damn job!
3. go on lots of vacations
4. help friends and family
5. put some away for the kids college tuition

{5 pLaCeS I'vE LiVeD}
1. Yucaipa, CA
2. San Bernardino, CA
3. That's it folks....I've only lived in 2 cities!
4.
5.

{5 JoBs I'vE Had}
1. Video store clerk
2. Candy store
3. Sold crap at Circuit City
4. Hostess
5. Several positions at my current job...the motorcycle store

OK - I'm tagging... Laurie, Ruby, Amanda, Kristi, and Angela
Have fun!